Sweeney Todd Story

The stories of Sweeney Todd are varied and many
Believe me dear reader there’s no truth in any.

But nonetheless what I reveal
Might help you to enjoy your meal.

If I can add some grist gore
I’m sure you'll love it all the more.

Todd took a shop in London’s Fleet Street
Above Mrs Lovett who made pies of meat.

Now Todd was a barber, with scissors and razor,
He really was a bright young shaver!

However, in a week or two
He found his rent was overdue.

So Mrs Lovett, of whom I spoke
Evolved a quite distasteful joke.

That was, that Sweeney, in his shop
Should give some customers the chop.

Once dispatched in his barbers seat,
She’d cut them up and use their meat,

As filling for her famous pies.
She thought perhaps she'd win a prize!

Todd shaved lots and lots of gentlemens faces
Who vanished thereafter without further traces.

He cut their throats, the wicked feller
Then plunged them down into the cellar.

Where indeed, it's no surprise,
They were in fact, made into pies.

Nothing plain like steak and kidney,
No, Mrs Lovett made judge and pygmy,

And priest and parsnip, lawyer and jam,
Her favourite? Actor – minced with ham!

But Spring or Autumn, and Season,
You've no cause or any reason,

To worry what you eat in here!
Enjoy your food and be of good cheer.